Still working my way through the book, “Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence” by Sgt. Rory Miller and came across something interesting.
As an instructor, I often come across long-time students who have trained to defend themselves, but seem to have trouble with the thought of having to injure someone. Additionally, they/we often overlook simple solutions to an attack situation. The author does a good job of explaining one aspect of this. It’s the idea of giving ourselves permission to act. He describes some usual mental blocks that hinder one’s training, including my own. He also offers some simple suggestions that may serve to free these roadblocks. I feel they are applicable to the beginner as well as the long-time Martial Artist. Take them as food for thought:
- “You have permission to defend yourself
- You have permission to be rude
- You have permission to survive, no matter what it takes
- You have permission to act when the scary man reaches for his belt. You do not need to wait until he draws the weapon or until he points it at you, or until he hurts you. You have permission to act.
- You have permission to beat me, even if I wear a Black Belt
- You have permission to become better than the best instructor you ever had
- You have permission to invent something better than I ever taught you, permission to use it in my class, permission to use it to defeat me, and permission to teach it to your students
- You have blanket permission t grow and live and survive and fight and run and scream and talk and play and laugh and learn and experiment. You have permission to win, and you have permission to decide what winning is. Be amazing!
Free your mind and keep it open to all the possibilities. There is often more than one right way to accomplish something. Train on!
I am going to add some video to the blog that shows the various styles. My goal is that this will make it easier for the beginner to compare their choices. There are tons of websites out there that weigh the pros and cons of each available style. There are as many opinions as there are MA practitioners and everyone likes to defend what they themselves train in. I will defend only one point of view: “Get as much information as possible before you decide”. My goal is to present the styles visually and leave it to each person to research and decide for themselves. I will save the long commentaries about each style to all those other sites.
I participated in a tournament this weekend and it was amazing for me! I fought in full contact kick-boxing for the first time, and I loved it! I have been practicing MA’s for about fifteen years and it is very exciting that I am still discovering new aspects of it, and of myself. I feel like a white belt again!
At tournaments, I now have experience in the following:
- Forms
- Point sparring
- Continuous sparring
- Full contact kick-boxing
- Demonstration
For those who are interested in the tournament circuit, I will break down the various categories. Keep in mind that most schools will focus primarily on one aspect of a tournament
- Forms: Empty-handed or weapons. Traditional/Creative/Extreme. Musical/non-musical
- Sparring: Point, Continuous, Team
- Kick-boxing: American, International, Muy Thai
- Demo: Group performance
Of course this is just a basic break-down. Each category has its own rules and guidelines that must be followed. Additionally, each one has its own expertise and focus. Tournaments are a great teaching tool for Martial Artists. The experience of performing under pressure aids a person in overcoming their fears, much like a self-defense situation. While success in tournaments does not guarantee and ability to protect oneself, certain aspects of them can be carried over to other parts of training, and life.
In the last two days I have noticed a theme. Yesterday we were mentored by our Sensei on the topic of why people quit. Then this morning, I was reading and the chapter I had just started began by describing the difference between those who quit and those who succeed. I believe that everything happens for a reason so I guess this is life’s way telling me this is important to share right now. So I will….
The difference between quitters and winners is Fear and Perspective. Most people don’t try something because they are afraid of failure. That fear is so strong that they will find any reason not to try something. The winners are those who know that failure is a natural part of the learning process. They accept it as necessary and sometimes even welcome it. For some reason, people get caught up in how failure might make them look to others. It is amazing to me how anyone can worry more about what others think than what they, themselves, think. I understand that this is hard to overcome. So how does one? Like anything else, practice. Yes, practice failing. Or at the very least, change your perspective on it. Everyone makes mistakes and it is those who learn from them that increase their odds of being successful. If you look at failures as steps towards a goal, then each failure is, in itself, a success. Talk about a win-win.
P.S.–Just wanna say “kudos” to all you out there who have taken the time with the questionnaire. Please don’t let any obstacles stop you from finding your path. You can do it!
“whether you believe you can or can’t, you’re right”
I have gotten a lot of questions about what my process is to get help choosing a Martial Art and school. The website is unique in that it helps people avoid all the information overload. I have designed it to accommodate the needs of each individual. They can get the personalized support they need without having to meet me face-to-face. The people that I have met in person have truly benefited from the consultations. The downside is that the process does take time because there are a lot of things to consider if you want to make the right choice. I literally took two years to find my current school. I made the time to visit all the schools in my area. I also made it a point to ask the right questions. The last part is so important!
While I certainly understand that not everyone has the same goals as I do when it comes to MA’s, I feel strongly that the steps I took can help anyone. I would like others to benefit from my experience while bypassing the usual pitfalls. I have tried to make the process as simple as possible while maintaining the integrity of a personal consultation. Despite this, you will need to invest a little of your time to get the best results. I must stress that your success depends entirely on you. You get out what you put in.
Here is a breakdown of the steps:
- You fill out the questionnaire as thoroughly as possible. The more information I get, the better the recommendation that I can offer
- I review your submission. I later send you and e-mail that contains my recommendations along with the reasons why. Included will be a list of questions that you should print out and take with you to the schools you are interested in. THIS LIST IS THE KEY! It is the information the experienced Martial Artists would look for when considering a new school. It is the insider secrets that I looked for when I was making my choice. Now you have the power!
- Once you’ve gotten the “inside scoop”, input your findings into the “Prospective Schools” survey.
- I will review your submission and send you and e-mail with recommendations.
- Armed with all this information, you make your choice
It doesn’t get any easier than that. The other option would be to just join a school and hope for the best. Now you’re ready, click the link below to begin.
“Getting Started” survey
The recent reformat of the website seems to be positive. Thank you to all those who have taken advantage of the opportunity. I appreciate everyone’s patience as I strive to give people the best guidance possible.
There are two things I know about myself:
1. I am not a spring chicken anymore
2. I strongly dislike stretching
There is nothing I can do about the first one. I want to do something about the second one, but then again, I don’t really. Don’t get me wrong, I am impressed by those who can do the splits and kick over their head. I’m just not willing to put the effort in to accomplish it. I have never been that flexible and I chose my first art specifically because of the low kicks. I have since found that that one criteria is/was not sufficient to choose a style that is effective for me. I’d like to repeat, “for me”. I am certainly more flexible and able then I used to be, but I will never see a full split. And I am okay with that. There are so many other aspects of my art that I am more than capable at. The enjoyment I get from that outweighs my flexibility limitations. I guess the bottom line is:
- celebrate and develop what you are good at
- develop what you’re not good at, and celebrate the development
That is all….carry on.
There are basically three types of Martial Artists:
- Casual/Recreational-These types generally join a school for fitness and self-defense reasons. They train for a moderate amount of time but don’t really care if they attain a Black Belt or not. They drift in/out and eventually their “out” time leads them to find a reason not to return.
- Serious-This group will persevere through the difficulties and challenges and will reach their goal of attaining a Black Belt. At this point, they may persist for some time but they are satisfied with their level of accomplishment. They have succeeded at the difficult task and that is satisfaction enough for them. They may persist for a time but they, too, end up leaving. For them, it’s not so much about developing further, but about the goal they’ve reached. For the rest of their lives, they can say they are a Black Belt.
- Lifelong-The people in this group find themselves in a interesting situation. They get their Black Belt and suddenly realize that the journey has just begun, at least for them. They use the Black Belt as a jumping of point into further development and challenges in Martial Arts. In their hearts, they know that training is something they will do for the rest of their lives. They are not satisfied and that attitude drives them forward indefinitely. These are known as “practicing” Martial Artists.
Who’s to say which one is better? New students are inspired by the accomplishments and abilities of the Black Belts. Some are so motivated that they reach that level themselves. On the flip side, I am constantly reminded of the mind-set of the white belt. It is my goal to see things not through the eyes of someone who has been practicing for 15 years, but through the awe of the newbie.They bring a passion and excitement that I never want to forget in myself. For I know that if I lose that, it will be time to move on to something else. I am also inspired by those Black Belts that have the same level of commitment that I do. They participate in all the extra training even when they don’t have to. They challenge me to do better and hold me accountable when I lag. They raise the bar for me and challenge me to do that for them.
In the end, a successful dojo benefits from all three types of students. When properly acknowledged, motivated and nurtured, the varying levels can be intertwined to create a positive atmosphere for everyone. And in a positive environment, everyone benefits. In the end, they all need each other.
No, I don’t mean quit your training. What I mean is, when do you quit on a technique that’s not working? I often see students get frustrated when they are doing a certain technique and for whatever reason, it doesn’t seem to be working on their partner. This is true no matter which Art we are focusing on at the time: Aikido, Jui Jistu, Kenpo, Kung Fu. All the arts that contain some very specific responses and attacks. The same is not precisely true for the other combat arts such as boxing/kickboxing/wrestling/sparring as these contain attacks that are less “site” specific and more broad. Usually…
The most common comment I hear from students who are having trouble with a pain-compliance attempt is this:
- They aren’t feeling it
- It doesn’t work
- I can’t do it
They then begin to believe that the technique is ineffective. What they fail to understand is that not every technique will work on every person. I have personally witnessed, outside the dojo, people who have been kicked squarely in the groin with no effect. Does that mean a groin kick doesn’t work? Of course not. What the means is that if that particular kick doesn’t work on that particular person, you’d better have some other techniques to draw upon.
This brings me to my main point. Practicing single applications can and will be frustrating when they don’t work. That is the reason you should focus on three aspects:
- continue diligent practice on things even if the person you’re working with doesn’t feel it. Trust me, it will work on someone
- understand the need to always have multiple techniques in mind. (never practice against just one punch, assume multiples)
- remember that no matter how good you are at a particular technique, if it doesn’t work when used, you must be prepared to immediately switch to others. Keep going until something does work
It is should be remembered that every person is different. They have different body physiques, pain thresholds, and “fight/flight” responses. The competent Martial Artist will keep this in mind throughout every aspect of their training.
