Still working my way through the book, “Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence” by Sgt. Rory Miller and came across something interesting.
As an instructor, I often come across long-time students who have trained to defend themselves, but seem to have trouble with the thought of having to injure someone. Additionally, they/we often overlook simple solutions to an attack situation. The author does a good job of explaining one aspect of this. It’s the idea of giving ourselves permission to act. He describes some usual mental blocks that hinder one’s training, including my own. He also offers some simple suggestions that may serve to free these roadblocks. I feel they are applicable to the beginner as well as the long-time Martial Artist. Take them as food for thought:
- “You have permission to defend yourself
- You have permission to be rude
- You have permission to survive, no matter what it takes
- You have permission to act when the scary man reaches for his belt. You do not need to wait until he draws the weapon or until he points it at you, or until he hurts you. You have permission to act.
- You have permission to beat me, even if I wear a Black Belt
- You have permission to become better than the best instructor you ever had
- You have permission to invent something better than I ever taught you, permission to use it in my class, permission to use it to defeat me, and permission to teach it to your students
- You have blanket permission t grow and live and survive and fight and run and scream and talk and play and laugh and learn and experiment. You have permission to win, and you have permission to decide what winning is. Be amazing!
Free your mind and keep it open to all the possibilities. There is often more than one right way to accomplish something. Train on!
In the last two days I have noticed a theme. Yesterday we were mentored by our Sensei on the topic of why people quit. Then this morning, I was reading and the chapter I had just started began by describing the difference between those who quit and those who succeed. I believe that everything happens for a reason so I guess this is life’s way telling me this is important to share right now. So I will….
The difference between quitters and winners is Fear and Perspective. Most people don’t try something because they are afraid of failure. That fear is so strong that they will find any reason not to try something. The winners are those who know that failure is a natural part of the learning process. They accept it as necessary and sometimes even welcome it. For some reason, people get caught up in how failure might make them look to others. It is amazing to me how anyone can worry more about what others think than what they, themselves, think. I understand that this is hard to overcome. So how does one? Like anything else, practice. Yes, practice failing. Or at the very least, change your perspective on it. Everyone makes mistakes and it is those who learn from them that increase their odds of being successful. If you look at failures as steps towards a goal, then each failure is, in itself, a success. Talk about a win-win.
P.S.–Just wanna say “kudos” to all you out there who have taken the time with the questionnaire. Please don’t let any obstacles stop you from finding your path. You can do it!
“whether you believe you can or can’t, you’re right”
I have been fortunate to experience physical altercations both in the dojo as well as the outside world. Not to say that I am a trouble-maker, but my career for the last ten years involved dealing with potentially violent people. The reason that I believe I am fortunate is because my training and my career have helped me overcome my fear of getting hurt. It is true that many/most people are afraid of getting hurt physically. While this is not a bad thing, it often keeps people from reaching their full potential. I have learned that the human body is a remarkable thing. It is designed to take an incredible amount of punishment and continue functioning. Furthermore, I now know that I may be struck by someone and it will not necessarily incapacitate me. The only way that I was able to learn this is by getting hit…and kicked…and thrown. After a while, it just becomes commonplace and easily accepted. Fear of pain is a powerful motivator but overcoming that fear is liberating. That fact is true in all aspects of life.
My school recently finished a round of tournament competitions and I’ve found myself distracted by it. I did not compete this year and instead helped coach and train the participants. Now that they are all finished, I am extremely motivated to start preparing for next year immediately. I would like to put together a compelling form and tune my fighting to a level I’ve never achieved before. This is the first time that I’ve felt this way and I’m excited that even after 10 years, my Martial Arts can still excite me. This is a testament to my instructor’s teaching and patience. I am so glad that I took the time to pick the right school. It really paid off!
